Friday, September 10, 2010

My Emo's (because the only hip term we knew back then was emo)

I decided I will come up with a formal theme and goal for this blog: It's my freewrite blog! That and my free-draw blog. hooray. Come and enjoy my sketchbook-quality sketches (AKA not good) and my rants on things that have nothing to do with what I was talking about in the first paragraph by the last paragraph!

Anyways, what I want to talk about today is this site I found a while back, where a teenage boy in a teenage-boy-emo-phase discovers knitting. Come see the hat's based on emo haircuts.

It just brought back so many memories for me: You see, I used to be all about boys like this. Like seriously--this was my type of boy to a T--Super Emo(as in really moody and whiny)--likes weird fashion--delights in pushing gender boudaries--plays music--I was obsessed with these boys my Freshman year of College, as well as my entire High School years and OK maybe it lasted up until my Junior year when I gave up on a certain kid who was like 30 years old and lived with his mom and was an inch shorter than me and had that swoopy emo hair and was a piano/film/english/history major.
Good times stalking that piano/film/english/history major, man I was in love with him...

Anyways, so although that time of my life has come and gone (now that I've outgrown my emo phase and have graduated to my rent-a-blogger's-boyfried) Lets have a picture to commemorate my boys:

In no particular order or any degree of likeness...because that would be awkward.

I ran out of space, so you get only this many. For some crazy reason I put them as frolicking. Half because I wouldn't put it past half of them to frolic in real life and I know one in particular thought it was healthy and valid to frolic at least once a day around the grassy knolls on campus. And then spend the rest of his day moping around and trying out eye-shadow.

And yes, that one guy had a guitar hero instead of a guitar. Looking back, it wasn't really a talent. At the time I was confused.

Oh yeah, and basically with anyone else on here. Absolutely confused--concussed--delerious--virtego-eous--blind. What I would have given for a guy who's only claim to standing out was knitting. That's so much more bearable and innocent than certain guys who one day you'll have to confront like this:

"I'm pretty sure you're getting high every morning before class but can you put away that giant jar of Advil, it's not going to help."
"This is my breakfast. I'm just sleepy is all."
"Just put it away. It makes a lot of noise."
*starts devouring giant jar of advil defensively.
*You begin to doubt it is really advil.

Also, it wasn't until I put this montage together that I realized most of my unrequited loves have all been wearing that same super skinny sweater...just in different girly colors. I mean, all except for Poncho who was actually the best guy of these six. I guess I like skinny sweaters. Even if it was rainbow-colored and stolen from the girl down the hall (that guy was such a klepto.)

But thankfully no one follows this blog and so the many boys I have known who wear any version of these skinny sweaters won't care or assume I have ever stalked them.

Not like I ever did of course. Except for a little smidge during my sophmore year. A smidge. I got over it.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Reflections on Tyer Florence

Why do men hate Tyler Florence?

And I know that's generalizing quite a bit, but I know quite a few boys who are pretty normal, who generally don't decide to pick on and hate on celebrities, but the moment I turn on jovial Tyler Florence in his nice little sweaters and overpriced lasagna, they freak out.

"It's his voice." They tell me as they pedal foot to foot in animosity. "I hate it."

Is it his manly, burly, soothing voice that bothers them so much? Or is it more? Is it deeper than that?

Is it like how women tend to hate on the pretty women? Because we secretly want to be them and secretly want to wear their pretty little sweaters and do the pretty expensive things they do?

Thats probably it. I mean, he's a good looking guy. I'd totally have a little celeb crush on him if I were 10 years older and he were about 10 times gayer. Tyler florence is the hated women of the man-verse I've decided. Tyler Florence and this guy:

Guys seem to hate this kid. Probs because of the hair. Most guys start loosing those locks at 25 and the 90's, when we were growing up, this type of hair wasn't cool so all those 25-and-over guys never got to try it when they were young and are totally jealous of this kid.