tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44554954376434867032024-03-05T02:49:09.836-08:003 AM OctopusRachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-33333395632531166442013-02-09T14:08:00.002-08:002013-04-10T13:41:34.382-07:00I attempt to fill out one of those high school quizzes.Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? <br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /><br />
-Only boys who flirt with me ask me this question. Girls who ask me this question (which has happened) asked it rather rhetorically, and figured that, as an artist, I had a free pass to weed and wanted to know if I had weed by asking if I smoked cigarettes. Then they would say "so not weed? Ok."<br />
<br />
whats on your mind? <br />
<br />
-nothing is on your mind or in it or anywhere near it if you're filling one of these things out. Therefore, I am pretty...messed up right now. <br />
<br />
What if I told you that you were pretty? <br />
<br />
-Well it's a better line than the cigarette one.<br />
<br />
Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? <br />
<br />
-I've been told "You knew I was a dick but you kept dating me. You knew I was a DICK, didn't you? I mean...c'mon, I'm literally a real dick. But you dated me anyway? That's your problem."<br />
<br />
Are you interested in anyone right now?<br />
<br />
-I'm interested in Self-Reliance.<br />
<br />
What are you looking forward to in the next week? <br />
<br />
-making money. Like seriously, someone buy my stuff or hire me, I'm filling out these stupid tests!<br />
<br />
Do you want to be single? <br />
<br />
-Yeah. A lot. That's why I haven't dated anyone in a long while. Being single is aaaawwwwwweeessome.<br />
<br />
Did you go out or stay in yesterday?<br />
<br />
-I went out.<br />
<br />
How late did you stay up last night? <br />
<br />
-I find this question more offensive than the relationship question. I have a hard time sleeping, OK? Why does everyone else sleep but me! It's unfair. <br />
<br />
Can you recall the last time you realised you liked someone a lot? <br />
<br />
-nope. I live in a wonderful relationship-less void and it is something beautiful and I HIGHLY recommend it. Never been more at peace.<br />
<br />
Last three things you had to drink? <br />
<br />
-Water. Hot chocolate. Water.<br />
<br />
Have you pretended to like someone? <br />
<br />
-Yeah. To myself. Accidentally might have done that to other guys. I mean, some guys if you just hang out more than 3 times you're basically ready for marriage.<br />
<br />
Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? <br />
<br />
-When you date guys that aren't real men, you can't actually love them. I realized this the hard way: you feel really bad for them, you want to change them--you think you're the only one who can reach to them--but you can't love them. We don't have a word for what that type of crazy feeling is in english, so we call it love. But it's not...actually love. Love is something that real men do, where it's not just you clinging on to this crazy poisonous commitment no one in their sane mind can actually keep, but in a benificial relationship that creates order and peace and control--that's the only time there's actually love. Woah tangent.<br />
<br />
So yes, I have told someone I loved him but didn't actually mean it, although I wasn't aware that I didn't mean it at the time.<br />
<br />
Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? <br />
<br />
-Only God and my cat are privvy to that.<br />
<br />
Is it hard for you to sleep? <br />
<br />
-Excuse me as I cry one thousand tears.<br />
<br />
Think back five months ago, were you single? <br />
<br />
-That's a random number of months you've got there, test maker.<br />
<br />
What were you doing at 12:30 yesterday afternoon? <br />
<br />
-I finally took a shower.<br />
<br />
Hold hands with anyone this week? <br />
<br />
-My cat has the softest little paws. She bites, though.<br />
<br />
Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? <br />
<br />
-I don't drink and will continue not to drink without any qualms or desire to drink. But I'm surprised that this question is on this test, as if alcohol is an illegal drug. Makes me wonder about who wrote it.<br />
<br />
What would you name your future daughter? <br />
<br />
-a virgin-birth miracle.<br />
<br />
Do you miss anyone? <br />
<br />
-Sure, all the time there's someone to miss.<br />
<br />
Have you kissed three or more people in one night? <br />
<br />
-No. I'm not like that.<br />
<br />
Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? <br />
<br />
-Couch.<br />
<br />
Are you good at hiding your feelings? <br />
<br />
-Apparently, yes. Especially from people I want to read them.<br />
<br />
Have you ever cried from being so mad? <br />
<br />
-There's something hilarious about crying from being mad. But yea, we've all been babies, right?<br />
<br />
Who did you last see in person? <br />
<br />
-Bro came by, wanted me to teach him how to code a video game in flash. As if I know how to do that. I told him to look at the internet for tutorials, he got depressed and decided to cook some bacon instead.<br />
<br />
Are you listening to music right now? <br />
<br />
-no. I'm trying to be less of a media-whore.<br />
<br />
What is something you currently want right now? <br />
<br />
-JOB. Money. Cheaper car-insurance.<br />
<br />
What is the last thing you said out loud? <br />
<br />
-"Maybe if RPG-Maker didn't look like so much bad anime, bro."<br />
<br />
How is your heart lately? <br />
<br />
-Very complete, actually.<br />
<br />
Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? <br />
<br />
-not usually. I look like I'm in a cult when I do. I've got a small head so it's very pointy when I wear it up.<br />
<br />
Are you wearing socks? <br />
<br />
-no<br />
<br />
What do people call you? <br />
<br />
-short<br />
<br />
Will you talk to the person you like tonight? <br />
<br />
-I don't like anyone. You infer that I always like someone? Sometimes you just don't like anyone.<br />
<br />
Are there any stressful situations in your life? <br />
<br />
-Haha underemployment!<br />
<br />
Who did you last share a bed with? <br />
<br />
-I share my bed with no one. Not even my cat. <br />
<br />
Did you do something bad today? <br />
<br />
-This test.<br />
<br />
When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? <br />
<br />
-Don't say it like that, it's creepy.<br />
<br />
Do you get stressed out easily? <br />
<br />
-Like an aeresol can.<br />
<br />
Will you sing today? <br />
<br />
-...in public?<br />
<br />
Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? <br />
<br />
-Is this test to see if I'm not a robot?<br />
<br />
Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? <br />
<br />
-Twitter. OK maybe instead I talk to Dad. But mostly Twitter.<br />
<br />
Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? <br />
<br />
-Nope<br />
<br />
What are you listening to right now? <br />
<br />
-No! Stop it!<br />
<br />
What is wrong with you right now? <br />
<br />
-Same question again!?<br />
<br />
What is on your wrists right now? <br />
<br />
-Nothing! Ugh stop it! I hate this stupid test!<br />
<br />
Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? <br />
<br />
-Oh my gosh this test is like a new roomate who doesn't know how to open up or talk to you yet, and so asks a whole bunch of random questions when you just want to eat mac and cheese and hide in your room watching youtube movies so like seriously, I don't remember where I bought my shirt.<br />
<br />
What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? <br />
<br />
-hot chocolate. <br />
<br />
Do you make wishes at 11:11? <br />
<br />
-I always wish for a good boyfriend. The universe goes "LOL!" Like literally it stops, points it fingers and says "llllooooolll" in an echoey boomy kind of way.<br />
<br />
Are you a good artist? <br />
<br />
-I'd hope so.<br />
<br />
Love really is a beautiful thing huh? <br />
<br />
-That because I'm an artist? Artists tend to think love is pretty sadistic actually. Like...have you seen art? Or read books written by authors? Artists get pretty brutal about that sort of thing.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I think it's all right.<br />
<br />
Do you miss the way things were six months ago? <br />
<br />
-Hell no.<br />
<br />
Ever been on a golf cart? <br />
<br />
-Yes. I'm a snob.<br />
<br />
Do you have trust issues? <br />
<br />
-Yes. I dated dicks.<br />
<br />
Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? <br />
<br />
-All night long? That's like...that's like 10 hours, you realize that? No one has ever done that on the phone.<br />
<br />
Do you own something from Hot Topic? <br />
<br />
-No. That store is still open? I thought they all got bought out and instead sold lame tacos instead of lame shrinky-dink shirts with "SEXY" bedazzled on them.<br />
<br />
Do you use chap stick? <br />
<br />
-Yes<br />
<br />
Have you ever slapped someone in the face? <br />
<br />
-No. Oh wait...yeah...guilty.<br />
<br />
Do you have a little sister? <br />
<br />
-Nope. Lots of nieces.<br />
<br />
Have you ever been to New York? <br />
<br />
-Yes, yes I have.<br />
<br />
Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? <br />
<br />
-Yeah, it was my brother. He better've meant it.<br />
<br />
Have you hugged someone within the last week? <br />
<br />
-I'm not a hugger. People do hug me, though.<br />
<br />
What were you doing at midnight last night? <br />
<br />
-EUGH THIS TEST IS LAME<br />
<br />
Have you ever regretted kissing someone? <br />
<br />
-IS IT <br />
<br />
Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? <br />
<br />
-DONE YET!?<br />
<br />
Were your last three kisses from the same person? <br />
<br />
-AAAAAAH ITS NOT DONE YET!?<br />
<br />
Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? <br />
<br />
-SO MUCH AGONY IT JUST KEEPS ASKING QUESTIONS<br />
<br />
Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? <br />
<br />
-LEAVE IT ALONE SERIOUSLY END IT! END IT NOW! END THE TEST!<br />
<br />
Will next Friday be a good one? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
<br />
....<br />
<br />
I'm exhausted.Rachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-6317055459329239132013-01-31T15:26:00.003-08:002013-01-31T15:26:53.740-08:00Lies and anime (or maybe manga I can never tell)Today I sat in my normal seat on the first day of this class, and my neighbor sat down and, first things first, changed the background of his computer screen to his token manga chick that's been sitting next to me for many months now.<br />
<br />"It's <i>your favorite</i>." He said to me.<br />"Not the manga-cat chick who flips me off!" The picture is drawn from the ground looking up at this chick rolling dice--the dice rolling hand position is mid-middle-finger-birdie.<br /><br />He shrugs and then seems kind of offended. He likes his furry comics but I wasn't expecting him to be offended because:<br /><br />"Rachel. She's a <i>dog</i>, not a cat."<br />"She's a manga chick with cat ears, though--they're pointy, sticking straight out of her hair like a kitty."<br />"No, those are dog ears. In fact--she's only part dog, more like three qua-"<br />"You kidding me? That's a cat-girl, not a dog-girl."<br />"Let me show you a corgi." <br /><br />He pulls up a corgi picture with triangle ears, "See how this dog's ears are pointed? Like a husky? Dogs have pointy ears."<br /><br />"See how that human with cat ears is a human with cat ears anime-ized sort-of and it flips me off?"<br />"She's a dog, Rachel."<br /><br />Then I realized something. It dawned on me slowly and horribly. <br /><br />Everything I knew was a lie.<br /><br />"So...wait...are you saying that all those cat mangas--all those are...DOG mangas? You mean every cat-girl I've seen is actually a dog-girl? Every furry I've seen on the internet? Every anime show--they're all--DOGS?"<br /><br />"Mostly, yeah." <br />"They were <i>dogs </i>this whole time!"<br />"They're sometimes hamsters, or foxes too..."<br /><br />He could tell I was upset by this.<br /><br />"Did you want her to be a <i>cat-girl</i> flipping you off, is that what you wanted?"<br />"Yes, That is what I wanted." I decided. "Actually I just want her to stop flipping me off. Also, she's hardly an animal. I mean...they didn't even change her legs or give her a tail or anything."<br />"That's because she's a half-breed. Well, three-quarters because she married a-"<br />"All the anime cat-people shows I watched as a little kid were wrong. They were all dogs. <b>All the cats were all dogs</b>."<br />"All the cats are <i>always </i>all dogs, Rachel." He said.<br /><br />And then I changed my desktop background to a murky gray plaid. It was the loneliest raincloud of plaid.<br /><br />"Thats very depressing, Rachel. Here, I'll change mine, too."<br /><br />and he changed it to another furry chick.<br /><br />"Dog." He whispered, "She's a dog, too."<br />
"I thought she was a <i>vampire</i>!"<br />"No, she's a dog."<br />"But her--<i>those </i>are ears? Those hair-things are ears?"<br />
"And she's got whiskers too."<br /><br />Then it dawned on me even more slowly and even more horribly.<br /><br />More lies.<br /><br />All of this kid's vampires. Maybe every vampire comic he browsed during class when he should've been working. They were DOG ANIMES.<br />
<br />
It makes sense now...I remember wondering most of his vampires had tails...I thought they were really long scarves. I can't believe we live in a day where furries turned into lazy blobby manga-esque people with wide elf-ears.<br />
<br />
Oh shoot. <b>Those weren't elves!</b><br />
<br />
Some day it's going to step over the line--where these blobby furry-mangas are so lazy that they're basically just people with whiskers. Where they're basically just stick figures "eh just pretend it's a dog 5/18's breed once-removed, OK?" One day it's going to step over the line, and<b> all the art </b>has been all furries. All art. Everywhere. Picasso's guitar blue guy? Dog. Van Gogh's sunflowers? Dog. The Lincoln Memorial? Dog. That walking dude in the crosswalk traffic sign? Dog.<br />
<br />
They are all dogs. All the art was all dogs. All the time. Everything is dogs.Rachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-57460164222933460882012-11-08T18:34:00.002-08:002012-11-08T18:37:09.624-08:00Observations without a phone.Today I lost my phone.<br />
<br />
I was taking a class at the local community college (it's a 3-D computer animation class full of a few talented students, some barely getting by students, and then some other "student" people who I know are reading sonic the hedgehog fan fiction instead of doing classwork because I can see their monitor screen. In fact, while I am talking in parenthesis, lets talk some more about this class. First off, I'm taking this class because I was curious, not for the grade, which is why I can spend my time looking around a little bit and enjoying the weird company around me.<br />
<br />
There's this kid in front of me who has taken 3 other semesters of this class--I know because I was there--and he has only modeled corbin bleu. This kid--who is nothing like the person you'd expect to be obsessed with corbin blue, has been staring at corbin bleu's face on his screen for over a year now.<br />
<br />
This kid made the most terrifying short film of my life--pure horror. You walk into a room, and there's pixelated corbin bleu posters everywhere, and there's a sole jack in the box in the middle on a little table with corbin bleu on the outside, and it slowly opens and spins and then OUT POPS CORBIN BLEUS FACE in clown makeup it was so freakin creepy.<br />
<br />
Anyway, he totally failed the past three semesters but is still taking the class for some reason, and now he's supposed to do a self portrait, which, considering that he isn't black or a singer or corbin bleu, would mean that corbin bleu should not be his reference material. But no, this creeper is modeling corbin bleu--again-and making corbin bleu look like the Guy on the Pringles can but in a fro and dead, dead eyes . I'm scared for my life sometimes.<br />
<br />
And every day he freaks out for no reason, turns to me or whoever's around and goes<br />
<br />
"EXCUSE ME?"<br />
and I pretend to ignore him<br />
"EXCUUUSE ME?"<br />
"Yes?" I finally say<br />
"Do you know how to...to...make this work?"<br />
<br />
and I look at his corbin bleued screen and ask<br />
<br />
"Make what work?"<br />
"Could you make this work?" <br />
"No." I lie "I don't know how to do that."<br />
<br />
and he'll continue to do that until someone either a.) does it for him or b.) he gives up and decides to rock out to something on his earbuds as he stares into corbin bleu's eyes. Since it's about that time in the semester that everyone has stopped helping him, he's basically moved a pixel back and forth for three days. One vertex, he moves it to the right. Thinks about it. zooms into corbin bleu. zooms out. Then moves the vertex back, and repeats the process.<br />
<br />
Which is better than this one dude from a different class who tried to pay me to do his art homework for him. First of all-it's art homework. My art would look nothing like his. And when I said 'no' he said,<br />
<br />
"but then I'll fail this class and it will be all your fault"<br />
"I already have an art degree. I don't need to do yours."<br />
"That's really unfair to me."<br />
<br />
and legit stormed away.)<br />
<br />
Anyways, so the class I was taking was over and I forgot my phone. I said phoooo because it was raining and I had heavy things and was wearing a rediculous shirt.<br />
<br />
And I need to talk about my shirt for a second because I have somthing to get off my chest: What the hell am I wearing? I've been wearing it all day, and I haven't been sure whether I should tuck it in, or wear it with a belt, or button it or unbutton it, or if it's just ironic or whatever. I don't even know if I look fat or skinny in it. It defy's all laws of physics and common sense and I don't know why I bought it or why I still want to wear it all the time.<br />
<br />
But I did. It's called a High-Low hem shirt, so the back is a full on dress, and the front the hem cuts off at normal shirt length. It's for a much wider person, and it's see through and black. It also has the Dread Pirate Roberts sleeves. Anyways, now that you know why I bought it (because who could resist this) I just wanted to get that off my chest because...this is so weird. It's real guazy, too, and I swish around everywhere like I'm Severus Snape with about a foot longer than necessary train on my back for some reason and I feel like casting spells on people but I don't think they'd get it.<br />
<br />
So anyways, I just got out of class and realized I was right next to a payphone.<br />
<br />
I haven't used a payphone to call someone since College, back when I had a phone card (remember those?) and I called the parents once a month from the dorms to tell them I wasn't dead yet and they'd tell me they weren't dead yet and then they'd put more money on the card because they really enjoy those sort of conversations.<br />
<br />
<br />
So anyways, I am right next to a payphone, and I decide, I have some change, lets use a payphone to call and get a ride. As my ride came I sat at a bench and looked around and waited. I waited like the good ol times like when I used to use payphones and phone cards.<br />
<br />
I hadn't waited like that in a long time, without my phone to tweet, without anyone to talk to, without music to listen to. Instead I looked at the trees and tried really hard not to look at the people next to me as I shuffled. Then I decided to reach into my purse and pull out my journal, and my first thought was<br />
<br />
"No, I only have a sketchbook. I used to journal all the time back when I would write. But I don't do that anymore" <br />
<br />
And this thought KILLED me. I never write anymore! Thus why I have decided to start this sketchbook-blog up again. where I freewrite and don't care about who reads it or any of that nonsense. Because you know what? If I don't, how will I ever remember about the creeper with the corbin bleu problem, or the dude in the back row who always clarifies how to Ctrl-Z, or the unnatractive guy next to me who reads romance manga and sighs heavily every day as the main girl falls farther and farther in her doomed, vampiric love triangle? I wouldn't remember, I couldn't. And I should remember. I should remember these stupid things.<br />
<br />
All of these stupid things I should remember as I wear this stupid shirt. I should always remember to remember the stupid things by remembering to remembering to write about them.Rachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-81696143103693853342010-10-15T17:46:00.001-07:002010-10-15T17:50:32.604-07:00My cat is a mutant.<div align="center">Here are some illustrations based on my cat, Kitty:<br /><br />This is how Kitty used to wake us up. Like she's in some intense graphic novel about the apocalypse or something and She Will DIE If I Don't Open The Door. </div><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 337px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 324px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528439147633117282" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihBCh9PCtexvI0dqFNM_Hro_iSXFnI3op4CUR-6IUg8jXF0iWiyzBxbXrGvXZobpHQLThVBV4KQpz55KR4hO37U5FxRQWf7AFv052EbSMp9hWMkQVYqFumB_qdc8fHdvAXmXM9KR9aIBpD/s400/Untitled-2.jpg" /> <p align="center">This is how Kitty wakes us up now. Like a Zombie.<br /></p><div align="center"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 199px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5528439146677732114" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRWfXr_Fr58CMNjkD4jXrUZa-1vF4KCx2aRskPc7bwqSeMS8hIe0UytBZL-bnDjL9nQhCk1Zjf1XPR1no5NxYOR82YGKKDpRnAmvri4YFGlbkzKDR5q7w3REfe5WPjU221Tg6UfMqSlIUF/s400/Untitled-3.jpg" /><br />I sleep with the door shut. Because Kitty eats us if we don't feed her on time. For reals, my Mom has full on bandages on her hand from it.</div>Rachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-81220208574716853672010-09-10T12:29:00.001-07:002010-10-15T17:51:25.092-07:00My Emo's (because the only hip term we knew back then was emo)I decided I will come up with a formal theme and goal for this blog: It's my freewrite blog! That and my free-draw blog. hooray. Come and enjoy my sketchbook-quality sketches (AKA not good) and my rants on things that have nothing to do with what I was talking about in the first paragraph by the last paragraph!<br /><br /><br />Anyways, what I want to talk about today is this site I found a while back, where a teenage boy in a teenage-boy-emo-phase discovers knitting. Come see the hat's based on <a href="http://www.rocdove.com/work/cool-boys-knit/slant.htm">emo haircuts</a>.<br /><br />http://www.rocdove.com/work/cool-boys-knit/home.htm<br /><br />It just brought back so many memories for me: You see, I used to be all about boys like this. Like seriously--this was my type of boy to a T--Super Emo(as in really moody and whiny)--likes weird fashion--delights in pushing gender boudaries--plays music--I was obsessed with these boys my Freshman year of College, as well as my entire High School years and OK maybe it lasted up until my Junior year when I gave up on a certain kid who was like 30 years old and lived with his mom and was an inch shorter than me and had that swoopy emo hair and was a piano/film/english/history major.<br />Good times stalking that piano/film/english/history major, man I was in love with him...<br /><br />Anyways, so although that time of my life has come and gone (now that I've outgrown my emo phase and have graduated to my rent-a-blogger's-boyfried) Lets have a picture to commemorate my boys:<br /><br />In no particular order or any degree of likeness...because that would be awkward.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5EL3ifTXsBLnSU5HbVDJTOHhL4avIL3DcGFLmLTmEX_qNHx9FdQiAb2pQN06s-vMi-gfv00hayEepFPcv8y3iDTwyyk013twjmmuLxXd88BdS7jIj-W5hT7v5sVyVQ3upZysOrvPv08TJ/s1600/frolic.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 272px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5515369364854407970" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5EL3ifTXsBLnSU5HbVDJTOHhL4avIL3DcGFLmLTmEX_qNHx9FdQiAb2pQN06s-vMi-gfv00hayEepFPcv8y3iDTwyyk013twjmmuLxXd88BdS7jIj-W5hT7v5sVyVQ3upZysOrvPv08TJ/s400/frolic.jpg" /></a><br /><div>I ran out of space, so you get only this many. For some crazy reason I put them as frolicking. Half because I wouldn't put it past half of them to frolic in real life and I know one in particular thought it was healthy and valid to frolic at least once a day around the grassy knolls on campus. And then spend the rest of his day moping around and trying out eye-shadow. </div><div><br /><br /></div><div>And yes, that one guy had a guitar hero instead of a guitar. Looking back, it wasn't really a talent. At the time I was confused.</div><div><br /><br /></div><div></div><div></div><div>Oh yeah, and basically with anyone else on here. Absolutely confused--concussed--delerious--virtego-eous--blind. What I would have given for a guy who's only claim to standing out was knitting. That's so much more bearable and innocent than certain guys who one day you'll have to confront like this:</div><div><br /><br /></div><div>"I'm pretty sure you're getting high every morning before class but can you put away that giant jar of Advil, it's not going to help."</div><div>"This is my breakfast. I'm just sleepy is all."</div><div>"Just put it away. It makes a lot of noise."</div><div>*starts devouring giant jar of advil defensively. </div><div></div><div></div><div>*You begin to doubt it is really advil.</div><div></div><div><br /><br /></div><div>Also, it wasn't until I put this montage together that I realized most of my unrequited loves have all been wearing that same super skinny sweater...just in different girly colors. I mean, all except for Poncho who was actually the best guy of these six. I guess I like skinny sweaters. Even if it was rainbow-colored and stolen from the girl down the hall (that guy was such a klepto.)</div><div><br /><br /></div><div></div><div>But thankfully no one follows this blog and so the many boys I have known who wear any version of these skinny sweaters won't care or assume I have ever stalked them.</div><div><br /><br /></div><div>Not like I ever did of course. Except for a little smidge during my sophmore year. A smidge. I got over it.</div>Rachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-45750977498666066192010-09-08T17:34:00.001-07:002010-09-08T17:38:55.858-07:00Reflections on Tyer Florence<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQse4upKqlZSHVp3EypvOXmymgqfXj4M8cJ9v0vnwKBlsU7zPVxV49B5J9R9IUtc3FhxVR4VGfKwN5i8erjmzTTgojGDugpW37hv5Kah_cMCSLen8fmn3b83-k8Ewsh-vYPGIje-M6BKum/s1600/tyler-florence.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 310px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514705826307357570" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQse4upKqlZSHVp3EypvOXmymgqfXj4M8cJ9v0vnwKBlsU7zPVxV49B5J9R9IUtc3FhxVR4VGfKwN5i8erjmzTTgojGDugpW37hv5Kah_cMCSLen8fmn3b83-k8Ewsh-vYPGIje-M6BKum/s400/tyler-florence.jpg" /></a><br />Why do men hate Tyler Florence?<br /><br /><br />And I know that's generalizing quite a bit, but I know quite a few boys who are pretty normal, who generally don't decide to pick on and hate on celebrities, but the moment I turn on jovial Tyler Florence in his nice little sweaters and overpriced lasagna, they freak out.<br /><br />"It's his voice." They tell me as they pedal foot to foot in animosity. "I hate it."<br /><br />Is it his manly, burly, soothing voice that bothers them so much? Or is it more? Is it deeper than that?<br /><br />Is it like how women tend to hate on the pretty women? Because we secretly want to be them and secretly want to wear their pretty little sweaters and do the pretty expensive things they do?<br /><br />Thats probably it. I mean, he's a good looking guy. I'd totally have a little celeb crush on him if I were 10 years older and he were about 10 times gayer. Tyler florence is the hated women of the man-verse I've decided. Tyler Florence and this guy:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_jEaFvcoGKbM6hwxHyz-yFmVZItpcR4ZufkElJ68JsXQ8Cuhn2QDQE4ZD9jHqd8bqtbYZ1FD_559xphCT9lmoNW2iZ9-8ZOVwXDRoDkh8-GjlsOE331HnPHntinwrbD4i2gl1xr0kXkvF/s1600/MV5BNzc0ODU1MDk0Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTA2ODY3Mg@@__V1__SX93_SY140_.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 93px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 140px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5514705831484603074" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_jEaFvcoGKbM6hwxHyz-yFmVZItpcR4ZufkElJ68JsXQ8Cuhn2QDQE4ZD9jHqd8bqtbYZ1FD_559xphCT9lmoNW2iZ9-8ZOVwXDRoDkh8-GjlsOE331HnPHntinwrbD4i2gl1xr0kXkvF/s400/MV5BNzc0ODU1MDk0Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTA2ODY3Mg@@__V1__SX93_SY140_.jpg" /></a>Guys seem to hate this kid. Probs because of the hair. Most guys start loosing those locks at 25 and like...in the 90's, when we were growing up, this type of hair wasn't cool so all those 25-and-over guys never got to try it when they were young and are totally jealous of this kid.Rachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-62185426758276520252010-08-10T12:13:00.000-07:002010-08-10T12:17:50.603-07:00Movies that Weren't that Great, but Altered my Young Life.<p>The filmic moments that really affected me in my younger years were really um...not all that filmic. They were random things from really not-too-amazing B movies that I became obsessed with (because I was 11 and easily obsessive.) and so I give you the top Five Filmic Moments from some pretty bad movies that Changed my Little Middle School/High School life.</p><br /><p><br />5.) Ever After: The Story with Drew Barrymore and the Awkward Cod Pieces</p><br /><a name='more'></a><br /><p>This was the movie with the cod-pieces--you know what I'm talking about. It was such a wonderfully and fantastically lame movie, yet during the tennis/badminton scene we small, innocent girls all had to turn away and cover our eyes because these guys were walking around with just some...really protective outfit choices and we had not yet come to terms with the male anatomy.</p><br /><p>Oh to be young again and afraid of Cod peices.</p><br /><p>Apparently everyone else is, too. I can't find shots of that scene anywhere. </p><br /><p>Other than that, this movie changed my life for the copious amount of dresses she wears--espeically the fairy one at the end. Everyone and their mom was this chick for halloween. We wore glitter glitter glitter.</p><br /><p>I was a cat again for some reason. One of my many regrets...</p><br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/1tCJMNlrWRI&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/1tCJMNlrWRI&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><p><br />4.) A Knight's Tale: Heath Ledger in Dreads!</p><br /><p>This movie was a milestone for me, after my Nsync crush on Lance Bass was fading, I found a real fake man to be in love with--and it was Heath Ledger in Dreads. Not only was he in Dreads, he was on a Horse. Not only was he on a Horse in Dreads, but he was in some really awesome armor that had a nike symbol on it for some reason. Not only all of that, but it had a farting scene at the very end.</p><br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6LYon31qAi8&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6LYon31qAi8&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><p>What a great movie for my 12 year old heart!</p><br /><p>Mind you, once I saw Heath Ledger without the dreads, I wasn't really down for him anymore.</p><br /><p>3.) The Rat Race--2001 edition: 50 Lucy's stuck on a bus interrupted by interrupting Cow</p><br /><p>The Rat Race, a hilariously not that funny movie from early 00's, I thought was the funniest movie of my whole life. It wasn't. But something about that bus full of Lucy's who (for some horrible reason) overflow the toilet with soap suds, are hit by a cow falling from the sky--that was a movie bliss for me: Pure movie bliss.</p><br /><p>There's no pictures of this. You've been spared.</p><br /><p><br />2.) Batman & Robin: Arnold Schwarzennegar would make a pretty good christmas ornament.</p><br /><p>Probably one of the worls Batman & Robins ever made, this was the first PG 13 movie I ever saw. I remember it clearly, I was at Jason Shwab's birthday party full of all boys and me and Zola, and I was absolutely horrified that I would be too scared and would pee my pants and run out of the theatre and all the boys would think I was a little wuss. Luckily for me, this was Batman & Robin, where Arnold Schwarzennegar is dressed up in pretty blue tinsel and icing everything around acrobatically like a really weird olympic opening ceremony.</p><br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SRH-Ywpz1_I&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SRH-Ywpz1_I&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><p>I conquered Batman & Robin, and I felt like I could conquer anything, and thus began my obsession with conquering roller coaster rides--rides that I was about 2 inches too short to ride. Then I really did pee my pants, but that's another story.</p><br /><p><br />1.) X-2: The Movie Where Nightcrawler kicks everyone's ass for <em>only </em>20 minutes.</p><br /><p>I renamed x-2, better known as "The Movie where Nightcrawler kicks everyone's ass for <em>only </em>20 minutes" was possibly the most impacting scene on my young life. Going along with my young theme of "Blue People are Awesome" something about Alan Cumming dressed in blue and CGI'd into a clever teleporting mutant kind of blew my mind. When it came out on DVD I must have secretly watched the first 20 minutes about 10 zillion times.</p><br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VrVdCkKxty4&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VrVdCkKxty4&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><p>Unfortunately for this movie, the most kick-ass movie-mutant is placed in the back of the plane for the rest of the show. He has about 8 lines that either circle around his guilt for being so awesome, or is some warbling German that I really don't understand, and occasionally him going "I can't go where I can't see! I have no faith!" which is the most unbelieveable statement in the movie--just shut up and kick everyone's ass again, Nightcrawler!</p><br /><p>And so for the next 140 minutes of the film, there's the constant<br />"How are we going to break in? what are we going to do?"</p><br /><p>and we pray and pray that they'll use the awesome German, but instead:<br />"I know! Wolverine will solve this one! ahaha!"<br />Which is just plain annoying because Wolverine is boring and does not teleport. He kicks ass in a kitty-cat kind of way and really, honestly, I just want to see a blue-flying-chuck norris. That and I can't stand every time they pull out Jean. She's such a Mary Sue and her relationship bored me. /rant</p><br /><p>So Alan Cumming didn't like the awesome makeup, something about waking up super early in the morning to look blue in the backdrop and have 0 lines sort of turned him off, I guess, so he went off to do bigger and better things, and Nightcrawler never again returned to the series. Hence why it kind of sucks now.</p><br /><p>But the last I saw of Alan Cumming was on some cable station, I forget what the show was called--I only watched it for glimpses of Alan Cumming because he was trying to do an American accent (I love watching foreign actors try and pull off an American accent) and I secretly hoped that he would start teleporting around and kicking people. </p><br /><p>Unfortunately, Alan Cumming played a "private twitter investigator." He only threatened to kick people. But no one was kicked. I was dissapointed.</p><br /><p>I don't really know what he was doing in that role on American TV.<br /></p><p>I figure it had something to do with making lots of money.</p>Rachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4455495437643486703.post-56436425612043112172010-08-10T12:11:00.000-07:002010-08-10T12:18:43.988-07:003 AM Octopus has moved!Tumblr was kind of rediculous, I couldn't post more than a pic at a time, it was impossible to edit, and I couldn't figure out how to have more than one video a post. Considering that my blogger style is long and multi-pictured, I have come back to the Blogger Wasteland. Jk Jk, but really now I have to figure out a way to get Blogger to work for me, because it really is the most convenient as far as editing and uploading.<br /><br />To see my previous post (There's a few of them) go to 3amoctopus.tumblr.comRachel Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03106177179797716490noreply@blogger.com0